HELLO WORLD!! grin. wow... feel so empowered suddenly.. the power of a blog... haha... "I can take over the world" - that's what Brain would have said.. u noe pinky and the brain? or did i spell it wrongly? haha..

Well.. let me begin by saying.. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL! indeed it is... it may be filled with so much frustrations, worries, what-ifs, tears, fears, brokenness... but seriously, it's so colourful.

i've been on so many roller coaster rides lately... so many. it's been tiring... exhaustive... feel like screaming but i just can't. so much to say, but where do i begin?

my cell. i love them to bits. thank God for each and everyone of them... i've always doubted my abilities... always felt so inadequate and there are times when i still feel this way... sometimes you just feel like "why am i doing all this?"... and all i have to do is to look at my cell members and i know.. it's because of them. so very often i run on my own strength... so very often... it's really hard to just abandon ourselves to God. i am trying and i will try to just keep leaning on his strength and grace... i am. leading a cell was one of the best decisions i've ever made in my life... everything just pales in comparison to it. being a cell leader is not just a sunday duty, it's not just a ministry... it becomes part of you, part of yr life and it's a 24-7 commitment... i'm just amazed and thankful that HE saw me thro it all... through the days when i felt oh so tired, when i felt like giving up, when i just didn't know what to do anymore... and all i can say is like what han said... the JOY of the LORD is my STRENGTH!! amen!

one of my good friends said this in an e-mail.. "A good cell leader is not one who knows how to teach or speak or pray well, it's not abt abilities,it's abt values. It's abt the way u remain committed to your cell amidst everything else, that even when u have little time , u still try to make time to call them, msg them or follow up on them. It's abt first tryin to be a good christian rather than a good leader. It's abt the heart, everything else u can leave it up to God to settle."

it's so true... so very true. for those who are inspiring to be a cell leader, i say this to you... "YOU WILL BE BLOWN AWAY!" because you can really see and experience how you can directly impact lives... blown away i tell you... God will equip you and do not fear... it's gonna be amazing and life changing... : )

am listening to the planet shakers as i type... "When i'm alone the world is such a different place, sometimes it's hard to keep the smile upon my face, it seems like i try so hard and still i let you down, it's taken so long but now there's one thing that i've found..." i'm blown away once again... i am.

there are moments throughout last week when i just wonder, "why me?" ... i noe i sound pretty vague.. was just overwhelmed and thoroughly amused... that's all. that says it all.

i've learnt how some people can't deal with what they have and they take others down with them, i've learnt that the choices we make can hurt but we make them anyway, i've learnt that friends are the best presents on the earth, i've learnt that being happy is a choice and not just a statement, i've learnt that being a tuition teacher needs patience... but most of all, i've learnt that words are cheap, and it takes more than words to bring me down.

anyhow... being a tuition teacher kicks ass!!! haha.. u get paid pretty well.. and the hours are not long.. grin. but the preparation can get a bit tiring at times... i have this funky tuition kid... so fun giving him tuition i tell you... went by the pool the last lesson to have it... and prior to that lesson, watched smallville at his house and his dad offered me chilli crabs... that's the life i tell you!!

saw a maroon vespa the other day!! man... vespa's are the coolest!!! they rock... can't wait to get my hands on one... *huge grin*

am pretty tired and shagged... went gym in the morning... let me tell you, if you go on the stepper... it's ADDICTIVE!! haha... gave tuition just now... and also had dinner with my friends!! had "The meatball that ate manhattan" at NYDC... they were lovely balls i tell you... but i still prefer the sweddish ones at IKEA... oh and if you do have the time.. go to ngee ann poly, i think it's canteen one? go eat the spring rolls.. you will be a satisfied singaporean i tell you.. satisfied!!

-han, if you're reading this, thank you for helpin me set this up and thank you for yr HOTLINE... grin. you have been such an awesome friend.
-to joanne, you'll always be my patrick starfish... thanks for sticking by me and you have always been an encouragement... even if yr nose bleeds!
-to eugene... julian!!!! wee wee!! i still hate shark bites!!!
-to sueann... tai sing rocks i tell you, but not with jeans... haha... thanks for being such a wonderful "slave"
-to wenny... I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!
-to stone... have u killed anyone driving around los angeles? i really miss yr burps and yr presence... come back soon!!!
-to janice n su feng... tonight rocked!! let's catch up soon...
-to everyone out there... no matter what happens, it ain't over till the fat lady sings!

"When we realize that Jesus Christ has served us to the end of our meanness, selfishness, and sin, nothing that we meet with from others can exhaust our determination to serve men for His sake"...Oswald Chambers

-shaken, not stirred-