*reality bites* argh.. it's one of those moments.. argh.. wish the moments would just pass like like like like now. argh.

the fact tat i'm sitting around.. waiting for a freaking letter.. argh. got my NTU admission letter into engine. my goodness.. i believe that it isn't what i'm called to do.. i HATE physics.. i hate the way how our system works.. even if u wanna do what yr passionate about, u're not given the chance.. why? cuz everythings based on yr grades.. based on how u performed in that ONE exam. perhaps i'm supposed to learn the hard way?

it's so conflicting. i could wait one year to enter ngee ann's mass comm.. i could accept engine and just fail thro the whole semester and drop out.. i could go NIE and be a freaking teacher.. wish i was 4 years old. wish i could go back and just be little again.. singapore is stifling.. so stifling. yes, we are blessed with such a wonderful government and all.. BUT when it comes to our education.. ha. maybe cuz we're small and no point dreaming big. what's the point of building a freaking esplanade? to "nurture our creative juices?" ya balls. my answer is NO.

timing just seems to be so off. everything.. maybe when God reveals his plans for me then only will i see.. perhaps my darkness is his way of leading me? i still can't see the light.

it's always these moments when i feel like rolling into a ball... it's these moments that make me feel so frail and so "i am nothing". these moments just takes the place of joy in my life.

if u do see me smile.. if u do hear my laughter.. if u do think i'm happy.. it's just a moment in time.

-myopic-