"Never will I leave you;
Never will I forsake you."
Hebrews 13:5

Amen. to cut the long story short, after breakfast, got a call from one of my cell member's mum.. always love talking to her. definitely God sent.. and definitely came at the right time too. She left me with this verse that spoke to her.. and is speaking to me.

flew 22 hours on a plane to return to a long list of things to do, to recify, to plan, to carry out. i'm still jet lagging, urrgh. highly irritating. the thing that's slamming me right in the face is, my cell. gotta prioritize my time once again, and this time, no me, but more of them. so many things happening to each and every member in cell that ching lu and i feel so inadequate to handle. soo many things.

"I will lay down my idols,
thrones I have made,
and all that has taken my heart.."

have i? have i laid it all down to Him? no. i tink i've blogged tis before i flew, LA was my way of escape, and it served its purpose.. just needed a break from the dogmatic way of life. it sucks so much... to know how far i've drifted but thankfully, by His grace, i was reminded once again of His promise.

He will never leave, nor forsake.

and this is an absolute. a promise that i can count on all the days ahead. dunno how u see it, but from my point of view, thats all i need right now. assurance.

always wondered, what's my purpose?? have u ever reflected on yr life and felt that all the things u had or did just didn't matter? *kodak moment* somehow, somewhat blurry.. i'm finding that out each and every day at 5am. well today was 6am. cuz i just couldn't sleep.. the highest priority : parent's confirmed salvations. long while ago, i rejoiced when my mum took the sinner's prayer, but that was a year ago. since then, to be honest, i haven't been pro-active with the follow ups esp with her.. as for dad, i just need to be bolder in sharing.. yes.. i lack that esp when it comes to him. cuz religion to him, just seems so far and distant.. prob cuz of his childhood and all.

i know my posts ever since i've landed seems so heavy hearted, cuz i am. issues pertaining to cell and family are always somewhat heavy.. can't change the fact.

got off the wrong foot with u when i arrived. till u have time, i dunno what to say anymore. does familiarity truely breed contempt?

-i wish i could drink milk-