days like these when i wish i was without emotions.

days like these when i wish i knew the art of...

a plastic smile.

can't begin to describe all that ran thro' my mind and in my heart during service. my heart ached and i was just soo broken.

is it wrong to expect? was i in the wrong to correct? kept telling myself.. "slow to anger.. slow to anger.. slow to anger.. must correct.. must correct..". so i did. i touch my heart and say, i have no regrets doing what i did. somehow i wish their growing up process could speed up. somehow i wish their teenage angst cum rebellion-ish attitude could be exchanged for a little more respect.

but then again, after much thought... no. thank God for His higher plans and ways. came to realise that it is a process. learning more about myself as i go along answering this calling. i know a time will come, when i look back at their sec 3 lives and say, thank you Lord for everything. everything. His perfect timing, His perfect plans. He's pruning my garden, and the process is one that i will share in due time.

after taking them so long, i've learnt this, surrender. i am their spiritual authority and guiding them, praying/watching over them is a responsibility that HIGHLY is.. God dependent. no Him, no me, no them.

it poured like crazy after lunch. tot it was God's way of saying.. i'm crying with you. i hear your pain, i see your heart, i'm here with you.

looking forward to Youth Challenge. looking forward to MS too.. hopefully bendini can come. excited about the people that will be touched and to see His hand once again.

turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of the earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.

-and still I rise-