christmas eve.. eeeks. the mad rush of christmas card writing. lookin to AA later at ling's house.. so long overdued.

busy packin my whole house and my room, its it a huge mess cuz my parents are on this throw-away spree.. its high time anyway. so now.. all my clothes are like wardrobe-less. hurr. oh well.. jus very blessed with great parents and all. mum spring's cleaning and all so got to see their wedding photos! exciting.

stone's back! horray!! met up with jinli yest too.. lovely jus seeing him. we're goin shoppin on monday! yay. anyhow.. camp's over.. feel like i've seen a little more of God's great big heart and my puny brains. i'm jus so thankful to have Him to catch me whenever i fall.

i know i'm falling. i know that its by His grace that got me thro' everything. yet i still do it to myself.. i still let things happen when i can say no. always tempted.. and still i rise. i've reached a point where the only emotions i feel is anger or utter whateverness. so tired of dealing with stuff that my joy is derived from... emptiness.

not exactly lookin forward to sch cuz i have 2 physics modules. eeeks. which comes the question... is engineering what God has in store for me? i dunno. jus feel like droppin everythin and diggin a hole to stick my head.

i'm jus sorry the way things are. how circumstances jus pulls everything apart. i'm sorry how u bear the brunt of my anger and i can't live in denial anymore. i've tried for the past whole year and yet there is no end.

-merry christmas-