what else is there to say? i'm SICK and TIRED of everything. yesterday i just hid myself in my room and cried out to the Lord.. "why me?" i'm sick and tired of havin to go thro appeals.. interviews.. setbacks.. disappointments. i've had enuff.

kenny asked a good question .. "what's holding me back?".. fear. yes, fear. the past 2 months has been so frustrating.. so disappointing. unsuccessful for smu, unsuccessful for nus.. the frustration is beyond description. yes, i should try to appeal for nus.. i should.

i know everyone is worried for me.. bout makin this decision in acceptin engineering.. so am i. of course i will be.. cuz I'M THE ONE WHO'S GONNA BE STUDYIN IT FOR THE REST OF MY 4 YEARS. i don't know what i'm passionate about.. food science? ya.. food science.. it's so interesting..

do i see myself being an engineer for the rest of my life? NO. what's the point in appealin for Arts and Social science when i know that i'm not passionate bout the arts? i don't see myself in the near future to become a teacher.. or theatre.. or a pyschologist.. and honestly.. look at singapore.. can u really practise what u've learnt in arts and soci? i dunnooo..

i'm not engine? ya, perhaps. i know everyone screams at the thought of me going into engine, cuz they know that i don't want engine. and maybe i'm not cut out for engine. i hear u. i do. did some soul searching.. and i'm still at a lost. it's 28th june. about one more month before uni starts..

and the song goes.. "only God knows.."..

God.. "why me?"